June 02, 2005
How Grewal should have handled the tapes
Well, the Liberals have been largely successful in spinning this story so that Gurmant Grewal and the Conservatives are being portrayed as being just as bad as Murphy and Dosanjh. (Their latest line is "Gurmant is sexist, because his wife wasn't there!") Because of this, I'd like to suggest that that Grewal should have done the following:
May 18: Grewal issues a press release claiming that Tim Murphy and Ujjal Dosanjh offered him Cabinet positions, Senate seats, etc. in exchange for abstaining from the vote. However, he makes absolutely no mention of having recorded the meetings.Okay, so by the end it's pretty much the same as what really happened.
May 19: Murphy and Dosanjh flatly deny that they ever spoke with Grewal about anything to do with abstaining, calling the allegations "baseless." On the nightly news, CTV's lead story is a report from an "unnamed source" on how Grewal once filed a complaint against one of his college teachers, claiming the teacher was biased against him, and that the complaint was dismissed.
May 20: Grewal claims that Paul Martin had known about the meetings and was willing to speak with him. Martin denies any knowledge, calling it a "lie of desparation." Later in the day, Martin says that doing such a thing would be an "act of criminality" and declares that "any Prime Minister who would do something like that should resign immediately."
May 21: The weekend edition of the Globe and Mail has the front page headline "LIBERALS DEFEND AGAINST LIBEL FROM 'SCARY' TORIES."
May 23: Grewal releases tapes of the conversations, but not any of the parts that mention Paul Martin. No comment from Murphy and Dosanjh. Martin says he is "shocked as hell" by the revelations, and promises that "finding the truth in this matter will be a top priority."
May 24: PMO communications director Scott Reid issues a statement on behalf of Murphy and Dosanjh, claiming that they are "victims of a sneak attack."
May 25: Grewal releases the tapes that implicate Paul Martin. When informed of the news during a scrum, Martin makes the following statement: "Uh, uh, I, uh, um, I think I've been perfectly clear that, um, uh..."
May 26: Martin is silent all day, but the Liberal war room issues a flurry of press releases, criticizing Grewal and the Conservatives for everything from delaying the tapes' release to being anti-Punjabi for attacking Dosanjh's integrity.
May 27: When asked about the anti-Punjabi accusation during a scrum, an annoyed Stephen Harper sharply dismisses the claim as "baseless." On the nightly news, CTV's lead story is a report from an "unnamed source" saying that Harper once threw a temper tantrum in a grocery store when he was four years old.
May 28: The weekend edition of the Globe and Mail has the front page headline "'SCARY' CHRISTIANS WIN TORY NOMINATIONS, PLAN TO BAN SPEAKING OF PUNJABI."
Labels: attempted humour